Saturday, March 31, 2007


I'm so fed up with one of the teachers of one of the children.

He's one with an attitude.
Oh my dear, that man thinks he knows it all, the arrogancy drips in large siroppy drops down from his ego that keeps growing and growing.

Be clear, not from my point of view.

To me he's just a pityful man who can't get enough hours at one school to get his family going, so he needs to drive from one place to another to get enough hours, and to struggle to get some recognition.
He doesn't have his life under control, so he tries to control others.

He even tried when I was at school a while ago, to talk about some issues the school had handled badly.
Ha... he couldn't get me down.

Don't ever get a parent bite the dust when it is about being informed about your own kid.
What you don't know, you feel.

Well, I felt, I knew and I knew a lot more.
Even better... he discovered I was better educated than he is.

Still the man has nothing to grasp and cling to than punishment after punishment.

My son doesn perfectly well with a daily dose of praise, a wink, and a kind request to have a look if his alarm is doing well.

Instead he is bullied by his teachers, and that's not acceptable.

So I waited. Just waited.
The largest idiots are bound to make an irriversable mistake.

And so he did.

My son had already talked to a teacher about some minor incident, and this guy blew it to gigantic proportions.
He threatened with actions after the easterweek, because he would show my kid how to fit into the system.

A letter is to school... I don't want him to be my sons mentor...

Isn't that interesting!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007


Last year one of the familiar people of our town was killed.
No trace of who did it.

Ofcourse a lot of speculations started.

The last two months it was relatively silent and just last week I had a talk with someone about that.
Real silence without an official withdrawel of manpower on the case, it usually means they're up to something.


Turned out they had been looking into a bankrobbery and during the clear-out of a garagebox they found something that meant a link to the murdercase.

They traced the person to the south of europe and caught him last week.
Now he's in our country and has admitted murdering this very special person, who did a lot of good work for poor people.

Now we're all holding our breath to hear the reason why he did so.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


I thought my children, except the oldest one, escaped from hayfever, but..not.

One of them came from school... red nose.. red spot beneath it...

When I looked up a bit I saw red eyes behind his glasses....

As he has medications against his autism problems I don't dare to give him something that really helps.
So I sway with a little bottle of nosedrops and try to do some mummymagic...

It doesn't help.

Now I can only hope it won't last too long.

Sunday, March 25, 2007


It always sounds strange: "we're going to change the wintertime in summertime."
Like we have two seasons.

We don't.

We have that terribly time that everything dies, and the rain splashes down like all the earth needs to be washed away.
Ok, it's softened up for a short time by the colours of trees, like some people who seem to get more energy, just to say goodbye, before they die.

And we have spring, the time of hope and new life, flowers and lots and lots of fresh green.

No way I want to skip spring.

The clock went ahead, and the papers reported: "we're on summertime" again.

This year I'm not alone in my protest to call it springtime.
The sun is bright and I feel like springcleaning.
(Duh... I have to stay put at my computer to let it pass without too much pain. LOL!)

This morning I opened all the windows,
called the boys which were at home out of their beds,
and when coming downstairs I started to work.

After half an hour I was cold,
put on the heating...LOL!

To be honest: there's a cold wind outide...

But who cares? Who really cares, who can see the sun shining bright.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

spring??? Hasn't sprung here...


At 1.05 spring has begun.
Only in name as at that moment a snowshower broke the sunrays.
Spring sure hasn't sprung here.

The nights are cold and most parts of the day have a kind of autumncharacter.

It's sad that after such a strange winter the start of spring isn't marked in a way that gives the feeling of new beginnings.

The children have finished the project about the prehistorical time.
It's always interesting how much teachers think to be able to tell and teach about a time we don't know nothing about.

Like some presenters on TV who tell seemingly rational and historical accounts when they stand at a place with about 5 stones.
We have a sport here at home, I very much like, because it stimulates phantasy, creativity and the critical senses: telling another story about those 5 stones that sounds just as logical as that professor in historics does.

I think my children can become great guides in our old town.
They will be able to tell, without even blinking their eyes, the most untrue stories like they're real life facts, just as those TV commentors do.

Spring... it hasn't sprung.
But the magazines and leaflets tell us this time is full of promises, and like the people who believe all those programs, the teachers who believe what they tell the children is right, I just have a passive mood and imagine what colours will be in my garden in a months time.

And you?

Monday, March 19, 2007

he's to school..

Finally my autistic son is to school again.

Now I need a few weeks to breathe in and breathe out very slowly, to get my heartrate under control.

He missed his first hour, because he kept saying he didn't fit into his pants.
So I pulled them up 5 cm and closed the zipper. No problem..

Then he couldn't find his pens... I just took them from the table and handed them to him.

Then he was in real problems... as he was runnming out of excuses.

No cardigan... the oldest took them from his wardrobe and threw them down the stairs... he didn't want the complaining kid upstairs anymore.

No deo... so up the whole lot of clothes, and I sprayed his armpits like I was spraying musquitos.

No glasses.. wel... on his nose.

The rugsack was too heavy....
I took out a book, had my 3rd son take it, and then he had to leave.

Complaining, complaining...

I just walked upstairs... Couldn't handle more...
I wonder what kind of problems he'll create tomorrow morning and how he'll come back later this day.

Now his voice has lowered the whole childlike behaviour disturbs me more. Maybe because there's a constant feel he isn't normal and I feel like a failure, maybe because in my heart I know it's time he moves to a home with more kids like him.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

storm and bad weather


We were told to expect bad weather and we got it this time.

Already during the night the storm raged through the neighbourhood, ripping loose the extra celing above the backdoor and sheddoor, so Jim at last, made the thing.
It's not allowed to have an extra ceiling, so we have made one that is removable with blue plastic.
It's very helpfull when googling our house on the map. LOL!

But it's a great help-out with so many kids.
There's no need to wait in the rain until someone has entered the house and put out his shoes, one can do little chores without getting wet in the summer, like peeling potatoes, etc etc. We use it like a veranda.

If the houseowner (we rent, that's normal in our country) comes, we can take it off in ten seconds..

Well, the storm wasn't nice.
At times we were closeed in by very dark and frightening skies, with thunder and storm, and at other times it was sunny with hail smashing down.

For the next couple of days snow is expected.
It's like roling in a fridge and handing it out, which is almost as unlikely.
It's the second half of march!!!!!

Saturday, March 17, 2007



On our way the the band the wind helped so much that we had to have a walk though the parc, instead of hurrying on our bycicles.
We didn't mind.
The birds sounded so lively and happy, and there was so much to see now we no longer needed to hide in our clothes because of the cold.

But even though we walked slow, we had to wait for almost half an hour before the school.

(Well, the way back was a struggle with the elements.)

The next lessongroup has arrived. 5 people, all very motivated.

During the first group I often said that one lesson a forthnight was enough, because most of the struggling with the chanter is practice at home. Well this group has one lesson a forthnight.

We had one lesson still with our second teacher, because our new one wasn't available.
We were in our original setting, the three of us.
Soooo relaxed!!!!

Thursday, March 15, 2007


The school of the girls has something to celebrate and so they're trying to get a band together with a couple of singers.

A few years ago I was asked to participate and had a great time.
I like to sing, as long as it's within my range and with a band that knows it's capacities (and plays within these limits).

I was glad with the bandleader, who clearly knew what he was doing.
Just one glance, or a handmovement and he knew what was meant.

On occassions like that however, people are also presenting themselves who misinterpret the capability to create a huge bathroomsound for singing.

So a friend joined and was pushed forward by the bassguitarist, pressed by him, manipulated by him, praised high into the sky by him...
The song was way above her range, and she couldn't get past sounding like a crushed squirrel yelling from under a truck's tyre.

How much you try at home... without professional guidance, and a lot of time and dedication you can't get past that stage of eh... interpreting music.

At the performance she tried to sing... and left the stage in tears.

I was standing right in front of the stage, glanced shortly at the bandleader and he threw me a microphone... had the band hold the last tone... and as she stopped at: "I love you", I could only repeat: "She loves you, and you're letting her down."

After the whole performance she was praised into heaven by all sorts of people, some making clear that they admired her courage to go on stage...

what a day!


What a day!!

I felt so releived when they all were in bed, that I couldn't sleep.

From the moment his eyes opened my autistic son has been complaining and having emotional outbreaks.

I don't want to deal with this anymore.
But I feel quite helpless.

Some of his complaints were fun.
"We eat frites every day."
"Oh, yea?"
"Every six days"
"Oh, yea?"
"Every five days"
"Oh, yea?"
"Every four days"
"Oh, yea?"
"Every three days"

Breaking one of the chairs was less fun...

I needed to call our doctor and had a short talk with him.
I'd hoped the bloodwork of my son would show something that needed attention, but he's as healthy as a topathlete, except for the fact that he weighs far too much.

So I got no referral to the child-doc.
"It's due to his medication, so all will refer to the psychiatrist."
"Hmm... who says nothing and advices to have him go to a sportsclub."
"I have to drag him at his ears to go there... and as we have passed the stone-age, I can't do that... I'd probably brought to court for child harrassment..."

On friday we have the confrontation with school.
Which will be quite interesting.

They can't handle him there and they want us to pay for a class assistant.
No way.
The school accepted him as they said they could handle him.
He was as bad as he is today... and maybe even worse.
And we couldn't find an assistant beforehand, and the school couldn't.. and the fun is... we don't have the money.

I dived into the whole set of rules and regulations for getting a grant, and I don't even get the time to study it fully.
There's enough for kids that have a physical disability. It's all very straightforward for them.

But for children with autism....

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Animal rescue at Big Paw Designs

We Dutch are wellknown for the dykes we built and all the other activities to save people and pets from the water.
Many people just don't know where we are, untill I tell them we live below sea level.

So when New Orleans was flooded we felt very connected with the people and pets there.
Even now many people and pets haven't found the feeling of home again, and that is so sad. Especially for animals, even though they survived, they miss the familiar faces of their owners.

It feels good not to be the only one who cares.
Big Paw Designs does too.

They have created a special charm, and part of the benefits goes to the pet rescue organisations in New Orleans.
I love the charms... they're pewter, and the image of the traditional fleur de lis is both robust and delicate. It can be worn both by the dog and his owner.
On the site of Big Paw Designs you can find this, and other charms, which can also be used as keyrings, and as a cellphonecharm.

Have you been to the site of Big Paw Designs?

You should, because they have wonderful products: magnets, charms, picture frames, keychains, collars and a lot more.
It's not a normal online shop. It also provides information, because they draw the attention to animal rescue organisations. Visitors can even submit their local rescue organisation to be mentioned on the site.

Roght now special attention is for USED DOGS. They provide a chance for recovery for abused and neglected animals, and they are looking for new, loving owners.
Right now they have some well behaving dogs available. A few are special need dogs.

There are several beautiful pit bulls available for experienced owners. And a few are special needs dogs.

Oh and eh... when you're a cat lover, you can find special items for your cat at Big Paw Designs too.


14-3-1007 Can't believe it!

I can't believe it!

The psychiatrist of the oldest called and after blaming the secretary for the mistake of sending the report to the familydoctor and the indication commission, he promised to send it to our home adres.

He made a faint excuse... but I heard it. LOL!

Ofcourse we first had to contact the complaint commission again.

When I said that maybe the sending of the report from the other psychiatrist.. he was supervising... was due to the same mistake, he nearly fainted at the phone.

How far do people go to cover up their mistakes?

I hope the contact person of the complaint commission doesn't think our complaints can be thrown in the bin.

They sure can't!!

They have made serious mistakes.

13-3-1007 familiar face

We had a great mayor.

She was the best this town could have.

Our town is a combination of students, former students, inhabitants with a family history that traces back to the time our town was the first settlement in the country and people who come from abroad and from other parts of the country.
Added to the mixture are fugitives from Africa, South America, the former Balkan countries and the cultural mosaic is a fact.

When our mayor came, she decided to live among these groups, and she moved house each year.

Untill at the end of last year she decided to take it easy and made place for someone I shared the bench in church with.
How little the world is.

And how short "taking easy" can be.

Now she is the minister of national affairs, and I love to see her face on TV.

We once had a woman to woman talk when she visited a meeting that was held at the school I worked as a group leader.
She rushed to the toilets of the students and I pointed out she could have a far more decent, comfortable stay at the teachers entry, just one corridor further.
She giggled and told me she didn't mind, and I pointed out where she could find more paper.

Like we knew each other for years.

I smile when I see her on TV.
No posh toodoo, no swollen language.

Just the everlasting large sjawl to keep her warm, and the straightforward language that is understandable for everyone.

She is a role model for every young woman.
And she doesn't know.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Yesterday I wantched a TV program about tracing DNA back to the first male human being.
I got such a sense of belonging and of being a part of something huge.

I get the same feeling with Agloco.

The word alone creates a feeling of being part of something huge.. a huge worldwide network, and that's precisely what it's all about.

We, internet people, all contribute to distributing the good name of a company.
Agloco acknowledges that, and as they generate a positive cashflow they share their profits with those who are helping to built the network.

And that's easy.
All you have to do is become a member and have the agloco viewbar on your site.
While you're doing your things online: surfing, buying something, searching, they check for referral fees, and you'll get your part.

That's as easy as can be.

Well, I'm off to become a member.
You too?


13-3-2007 school

There's so much bullying at the school of the boys.
Part of each day it's subject of conversation, and I'm not happy with that.

I've raised my children to be peaceful people, but I'm not sure anymore if I've done the right thing.

My autistic boy is afraid to go to school, because he's afraid he can't control his rage against those who make it a daily job to irritate others.

We had to deal with one of his outburst last nights, because the tension was growing too high to handle... the tension of having to school today.

At the hight of the outburst, when his older brother was angry at him and almost hitting him to shut him up, and his father was yelling and was about to loose control of his temper, I yelled that he'd better not go to school tomorrow.

Wrong!!! wrong!!! wrong!!!

I feel such a failure...


The weather!! I can't believe it!

There's sun, children playing outside, little birds with worrying parents, and that wonderful green haze of new leaves.

A new season is born.

So I got the laundry out on the lines.
And for the first time in ages the first day out resulted in a lot of dry towels.

I carried a whole pile upstairs at the end of the afternoon... with a bit of pain in my legs from walking in and out, and gardening a bit.

This is sooooo good!!

Monday, March 12, 2007

11 march 2007 my neigbour's dog

The neighbours have a dog.
That's no news at all for those who live in the street and have heard him during his lonely evenings or have seen him when they walk the street with him.

It's such a lovely animal, but I feel they're not doing enough to give him a happy life.

Sometimes I phone him, and he keep silent for some time after he has heard the phone ringing...
That's so sad, so sad.....

Yesterday I was a bit on the lookout for them, and when I heard their door close, I just had to walk out and prepare to do something in the garden..
The woman stopped and started a talk about the weather.

Then I asked her the name of the dog.

He's called: "dog"!!!

I asked her of she was proud of him and she told me she was.

What a nice opportunity to tell her about the earrings I had seen at

She was genuinely interested, and asked what more the site had to offer.
"Well, notecards with paws on them, and a lot of charms. They are made for the dog, but they are so cute, that they are perfect for bracelets too."
As her husband celebrates his birthday soon, I also mentioned the pet frames they have. They are also perfect for the office.
And then ofcourse all the other pet lover gifts, like the pet rescue items, the colors and everything more.
"You should have a good look, there's to much to see at Big Paw Designs.
They even have a pet photo contest and other fun things."

A bit later I went to the site and ordered a collar for the dog of my sister. A green one... for St. Patrick's day.
Her dog already has personality, you see.

But I'm sure I can order a green one for the neighbour's dog too next year.


Sunday, March 11, 2007

10 march 2007 memories

This week I saw the photo of the love of my life on internet.

I can't get rid of the image... it's glued in my brains.

All sorts of memories take me back to the time I was so happy and life seemed to smile at me.
Our long walks to the woods, our smiles at school.

He had big hands, and I still can feel them resting at my shoulder... the smell of his jacket...

We talked about marrying... first finish our education...

He went to another town... and his visits got less and then stopped.

I struggled between letting him free to discover studentlife at that town, and the need to know why there was such a big silence.

Three years later, maybe even more, I bumped... litteraly bumped against him at university.. at my department.
Even when I had been blind I would have known it was him...
Even then I felt special, at home, safe, growing beautiful...

But after bumping against him, and he looking at me, I turned and walked away........

A mutual friend found me in the restaurant, drinking coffee and staring in front of me...
He advised me to make an appointment and go and visit him,

and so I did.

We had a great day together, and he made me understand why there had been such an intense silence.
While he was buying some special bread, I looked in his bookcase...
Found the present he bought to me for my birthday, still wrapped in the paper of the bookshop I knew so well.

When he came back he smiled, and gave it to me.

At the end of the day he brought me to the bus... "wait for me another three years"...

I told him to feel free.

I should have waited... maybe I should...

Not because he has become one of the richest people in the world.
I don't care.

But because my heart jumped from joy when I saw him coming to our group at the schoolreunion.
Others saw it too.
Saw his reaction too.

We were both married, had a large family...

But I felt happy...

"See you later", he said...
and when it was a bit later, he was gone......

Without saying goodbye...

And now I see his photo.. somewhere in my mind.
No need to see the real image.

And I can only cry.....

Thursday, March 8, 2007

8 march 2007 - making appointments

A couple of years ago we have decided that the wednesday would be the day to make appointments where both parents of the children needed to be present.
It means working a day less, but also a day of flexibility.

It worked great for years.

But now more women work and the part time jobs at schools are rising, we are going thorugh serious troubles to make appointments.

With 6 children, 4 with special needs, we have to turn and circle like worms to get things done.

The social worker works at tuesdays and tursdays from 8-10 in the morning,
the councellor of my autistic son two days after 15.15,
the mentor not on tuesdays and wednesdays and he won't make appointments during the day untill past 15.15 on fridays, but he phones early morning at saturdays and at the middle of the afternoon on sundays,
the psychiatrist needs 3 months of planning ahead,
the other one is OK with a phonecall or mail for medication,
etc etc.

I'm getting completely nuts of all their restrictions and impossible times.

At 15.15 the first children come home here, and after that the rest too.
They need someone at home and I don't have friends who can cope with the different disorders which lead to different behavioural problems, so I have to be at home.

I' m not sure what to do.

In a way I'm fed up with the way all those professional workers feel far more and feel their lives are far more important than mine.
I want to take into account that some of them have to teach, and that they can't leave that to others, but I want the same respect for me and my timetable.

One of the teachers told me he wouldn't show up at wednesday to meet us for an hour, because that they it was his father-day.
Like he told me I could take all my 6 children with me if only I would make an appointment at friday at 17.00 hours, I told him he could take his baby.

But it doesn't work that way.

So I'm thinking of sending a list to all of them, asking for their times, and permission to send their times to the other people we have to meet too, so they all can get an insight in the fact that they are putting unreasonable pressure on us.

Or maybe we should plan 3 months ahead: one day.. and they all can subcribe for a time.

8 march 2007 international woman's day

So it's international woman's day.

I studied the development of the women movements in some countries, and felt energised by what so many women did and accomplished.

Often I wonder if women around the world really understand how gratefull they should be.

On the other hand...there's still much work to be done.

In my the time when I was born... women lost their jobs when they married.
Only when I was about 12 my mother started to work again.
Our whole life changed... she couldn't cope at all... but none cared.

Then the women's movement accentuated that it was not as important that women had a working carreer.. women needed to have a choice.

So the stay at home mom was as important as the working woman. They were all contributing to society according to their talents.

The last years it has become the norm again that all women work.
Even disabled women can work part of the day, and who cares if they fall asleep the very moment they come home and sit down.

I'm a mom with more than a handful of children. Most of them have an autism spectrum disorder.
They need careful guidance to leave in time for school, properly dressed, with their agenda and books in their bags. Some need to be told to tie their shoelaces, to put on a clean t-shirt, underwear.
They're between 14 and 21 years old, and they require as much attention as when they were 4.
Including guidance in social issues, etc etc.

My work starts when the first one opens his eyes, and stops when the last goes to bed.
Leaving me many times just 4 hours of sleep, because one can't fall asleep, and another wakes up very early.

My work includes also visits to doctors, psychiatrists, events, and the schools.
dealing with teachers that "know best", is worse than dealing with aggressive customers, I can tell you that.

Still, I'm considered lowest of lowest of the social system.
I'm not earning money, so I'm nothing.

That I save society a lot of money, because they're not institutionalised is conveniently forgotten.
I'm a psychologist and ironically enough I studied the very same subjects as I now have in my house, each and every day of the year.

A couple of weeks ago I mailed the organising committee of or national woman's day committee about the situation of mothers who can't work because they have to care for disabled children.

They didn't even bother to write back.

Happy woman's day!!!

7 march 2007 elections

So we've had elections again.

Our political system is interesting.

We have national elections to choose the parties that will represent us in parliament... de "second room", literally translated.
And we have elections to choose the members of the regions/counties... who choose the members of the "First Room", those who control and comment the new articles of law.

Well, it's not easy to explain, so I'll leave it to that.

Many people consider the regional elections as less important.
Well, we think one has to use the vote we have.

One of the boys had to vote for the first time.
He didn't know what to do, so we had many talks about it with him.

This morning we all went ...

The results of the elections aren't in completely yet, but the outcome is as we expected.
Loss for the parties that are running the government and a gain for the party that should have been in the government.

The coming time will be very interesting.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007


Aren't we people strange?

I heard about the earthquakes in indonesia and it was told they could be felt as far as the place where a friend lives.

Didn't hear from her all day... so the worrying started.

..Maybe something with the family or friends...

Turned out she didn't feel it at all...

What's in us to fill in whatever gap we experience??

Monday, March 5, 2007


A couple of years ago my always perfect cholestrol level climbed high.
Like a monkey with a lion behind it's tail.

My doc send me to the specialist, a young handsome guy with a bright smile.. who knew he was handsome.
He also knew flirting brought him everything.

Well, I was just a couple of years too old for him.
And wiser too.

He told me to eat better.. I told him the problems was caused by the diabetesmedication.
He told me I was nuts to think so, I told him I was right.

I tried the statines.
They caused such side-effects that I felt I couldn't take care of my family anymore.
One kind caused severe muscle ache,
another headaches,
etc etc.

So I ended on a wellknown expensive brand and was glad to leave the hospital and the doc behind.

Well, even those wellknown meds caused sideeffects like muscle pain, muscle weakness, and a lot more.
So I cut the prescription in half, smiled at my doc and told him life was difficult enough without the feeling of being a 90 year old.

I also told those two docs to ring me if they had real proof I would be better of with those meds.
Ofcoursethey never phoned.

Today on TV there was an item about the side-effects of those meds and the lack of real proof that a lowered cholestrol is better.

I have to go with one of the children to the doc on wednesday.... I'll smile.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

4 march 2007 glucose teststrips

Each month I fill a system of boxes with the meds I need to take each day.
It's a neat system, and I never forget my meds.

Before I started I had a time I wasn't sure I'd taken them. It had become routine and with all evenings alike I couldn't remember anymore for sure.

So now each evening I take a box, get my stuff and put the empty box on top. The boxes have the days of the week on them, so I know for sure if I have taken them or not.

It's also easy when I have to go away for a couple of days or when I'm not sure if I'll be at home in time.
I just take the boxes with me in my handbag.

So thios afternoon I sat down, switched on the radio, got out the new bags of the pharmacy and the box with what I had left from the former recipe, and started to fill the boxes.


Then I took the old inhaler, threw it away in the bag for the old meds that goes back to the pharmacy to be destryoed in an environmental friendly way, and reached for the new teststrips for my glucosemeter.

I have a very old glucose meter.
It takes 45 seconds to measure, which is relatively long, but it still works and mI don't mind it's not as little as the new ones, and not as sophisticated.
As a matter of fact it looks like stemming from the sixties. LOL!

Then I saw it: the pharmacy again had given me the wrong strips.

It's for the newest glucosemeter... and I simply can't afford to buy a new one.

As I was walking downstairs, telling evenyone with ears that that dumb pharmacy again had made a mistake, I suddenly thought it would be a way to ask Lifescan, the firm behind my meter and strips, to inform the pharmacy a bit better.

And so I did.

Don't worry, I can have it when the pharmacy throws me out.

There's a new one in the shopping centre.
Much more convenient, and to change pharmacies I have to inform the inusrance company why I want to switch. LOL!


4-3-2007 online autism survey

Help identify risk factors for Autism Spectrum Disorders by taking an online survey.

You can help identify underlying risk factors for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) by taking an online survey from your own home computer.

Biological mothers of children with an ASD are invited to participate in an online survey to assess potential risk factors for this condition.
We also need biological mothers of children without an ASD to take the survey.

We will ask questions regarding your pre- and post-pregnancy history and your family's exposures, sensitivities, and health.

To participate you must:
• Be 18 years or older
• Be the biological mother of at least one child who has been diagnosed by a professional with an ASD or….
• Be the biological mother of a child or children who have NOT been diagnosed with an ASD

The survey will take approximately 20- 30 minutes to complete.

For more information or to participate in this study please visit:

Principal Investigators: Ray Palmer, PhD, Associate Professor, Family and Community Medicine, University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio, and Claudia Miller, MD, MS, Professor, Family and Community Medicine, University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio

Saturday, March 3, 2007

3-3-2007 flowers

The girls bought me a little bunch of sweet pink roses as a surprise.
That was tuesday.

Yesterday they were obviously not anymore a decoration of our room.

Tuesday to friday is too short a lifespan for roses, especially as I treated them well.

We agreed to make dried flowers of them, so now they're hanging to dry...

A memory of a lovely gesture.


Friday, March 2, 2007

2 march 2007 dollshouses

I love dollshouses.

My dad made one when I was young and it had stonepaper on the outside.
My mother was a perfectionist and made me very clear that the house would be thrown away when I would scratch or tear the paper.

Ofcourse I did. I put a doll in front and hope she wouldn't see it.
Then I phoned may dad and ofcourse he brought paper and restored it.

When I grew older the house disappeared, and I made dollhouse items for others.

The mother of a friend had a huge posh victorian house at the attick.
Ohh, did I love it!

Now I have two daughters who are old enough to start a real lifetime lasting hobby: dollhouses.

I still had one DIY set of a german firm.
Some time ago I looked and found out it 's a special edition.
I didn't know the size however and left it in the package.

On internet I found a house that had the same building system. It wasn't expensive, so I bought it.
Turned out it was one of a series of about 4 or 5.

So I started saving and last summer I bought the castle from the series and far later the victorian house.

It's a 1:24 system.

Looks like the special one I had first.

And today I spend a bit of time, when I was waiting for a phonecall, surfing on internet... I found one of the houses, put together and furnished with love and care.
The owner had made her own tiles for the floor, and I loved it.

Then the phone rang and I forgot to save the url...

I'm going to find out which clay is best to make the tiles.. I don't think she used fimo.
Slowly in my head the house is furnished...

I think I need a millionaire to donate a couple of millions...LOL!


Answer to some questions about the schooltrip to the abbatoir

I have had a very long talk with my son.
ofcourse he had a lot of feelings to vent.
Even now, a couple of days later, he's very silent.
I have always been very aware not to throw food away, but children think their parents are nuts when they moan about not throwing bread away and such.

This time I compared the way the more in nature living peoples and tribes deal with food.
They too eat meat when they have the chance.
But they kill because they need the food, not because they feel like eating because they want their mouth moving when watching a movie.
Eating is a necessity, not a pastime.

Today he put what was left from his schoolbread in the fridge and took it out when he went sporting.

He still says the school shouldn't have taken them there. And I agree.

We tried to get in contact with the social worker from school... we don't have an appointment yet.

Right now I'm writing to the schoolinspection about the bullying at school, and in the letter I've mentioned the visit to the abbatoir.
I'm sure I will get questions..

Next week I'll decide which steps I'll take.
It's better to be a bit rational and think about a good strategy, otherwise they can wipe it aside saying I'm an overly worried mom.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

3/1/07 killing positivity

I'm a critical person.

Well, I have consideration with the feelings of people, so I won't tell someone he's looking awful with those glasses if it's clear he likes them himself.

And I always try to offer an alternative. Some people call it constructional criticism.

Criticism to me is a reflection of the idea that things can be better, and that's what I aim for.

Some people don't want criticism.

Like on the gameworld I am.

They want people to be positive.

But I found out it's not a kind and nice "goodmorning" attitude they want.
Oh no.

They don't want to be bothered by people who come across problems in design and script.
They don't want questions.
The don't want criticism.

I call it "killing positivity."

Go aorund with a smile and absolutely never think... eh! Don't even try!!!